Aggie Princess

Changed up the layout just for kicks. Like it?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

It is amazing how well God knows me...

Now I kow why I'm not studying abroad while in college. It is because God knows me way better than I know me! Wow! What an interesting time for such a relevation! It was right after I finished my INFO 305 hw for the day. Weird. But, I was thinking...if I study abroad, I would totally fall away from my relationship with God. I wouldn't grow in a relationship with Him much. God knows my weaknesses! So, I guess that is why I never got the chance to go abroad. God knows that it would take away from our relationship and he doesn't want that to happen. Gosh, it is kinda sweet. :-) I've prayed that if I was meant to study abroad, that God would just lay the opportunity in my lap. He never did. Now I realized he laid the opportunity for me to grow closer to Him in my lap instead. Thanks, Homie G!

So, I know I sound like an angsty middle schooler...
...but where would we be without our Middle School drama moments?

*sigh* Sometimes life is hard, really hard. Not the "I have 5 tests next week" hard, or the "I hate my roommates" hard, or even the "Someone robbed me and stole all of my stuff" hard. Sometimes life is "balancing on eternity" hard. Its "This decision affects the rest of my life" hard and-or "I'm all alone and this decision is only something I have to decide on my own" hard. And, not only does that decision affect your life, it affects EVERY relationship you are part of. Talk about butterfly and ripple effects!

I just need someone to listen. Someone to hear me babble. Someone to smile and nod and not judge me or offer advice. Usually, I know the answers, but it takes a while for me to accept them. I need someone to offer a kleenex if I need it or a shoulder to lean on. I need someone to say they love me not just to console me, but to actually show that to me 24-7. I need someone to laugh with me, to give me a hug, and to let me talk when I want, instead of forcing me to when I'm not ready. The battle in my mind is hard enough and brutal as it is, I don't need any more troops from your army. Whoa...that was a cool analogy, I'm awesome. haha!

It is hard when you question things that have been part of you your whole life. You make it seem like the answers are so obvious and easy. When someone is on crack, you can't just say, "Duh, you should quit now and never smoke crack again," and think that person is stupid if they can't do it that easily. Recognize the struggle they are in! hmmm, another cool analogy. But, don't worry, I'm not smoking crack...or am I? hehe.

They say that before you judge someone, to walk a mile in their shoes. I'm learning how true it is. They also say that if you walk a mile in someone's shoes, at least you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes! Sometimes that is true, too. If I need my space, then give it to me...but I'd like to keep my shoes, though. Don't take those! haha.

So, I don't really know what I am saying in all of this. When I feel like I don't really have someone to talk to who will really listen and really emphasize, then I write it all in my blog so I can talk to myself. Because I really listen and really emphasize with myself. hm. sounds strange, but it works. Trust me!

Thanks and gig 'em...and HOWDY for all you crazy Howdy folk. :-p

Monday, February 28, 2005

WHOOOP!

So, this week is I-Week at school! That means it is international week! There are a ton of cool booths set up in the MSC, I went to a lot of them. So, today I traveled to Africa, Egypt, Taiwan, India, and Costa Rica! Whoop! I learned about a spring break Costa Rica trip that is available. Hmmm.....sign me up!

The week is fabulous, the weather is fabulous, I'm going to go shave and then enjoy the fabulous outdoors.

Bye!